Saybz Says: Why She Wants A Him For Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day is imminent and our lives have been bombarded with a red sea of hearts and diamonds. We all know that this very American holiday has been watered down and turned into a gift giving fiasco; another scheme to make us go out and buy in retail’s slowest season of the year. But at the core of Valentine’s, we’d all like to hope that there is still a spot about true love and companionship.

And we might of actually believed that. Of course that was only until social media came along.

Since the onset of February, my Twitter timeline has consisted of one thing and one thing only- the attack of the Him. I’ve seen it every single day. It’s a tweet from a guy calling out a female for imagining a Him. It’s a girl masking her excitement and admiration of her offline beau.

But what does it all really mean?

I can only speak from my own perspective so shoot tweet me if I’m wrong but here comes my big disclaimer. I’ve been in a committed relationship for a while and the thought of downplaying my boyfriend- the person I love- into a pronoun, makes no sense to me. The only actual reasons I can think of to justify the use of the title “Him” is to a) Hide his identity because you do not want to share the information, b) Create a false character behind the title or c) Hide his identity because he does not want you to share the information. If you are genuinely happy in your relationship or in your use of the title Him then this post is not for you.

But why all of the HOOPLAH about a Him all of a sudden? Why must my “Him” gift me the newest bag or catch me slippin’ on instagram?

I’ll tell you why.

Because girls are born and bred to compete with one another. So, although one girl out of every friend group may actually have a healthy, happy relationship, the other members are just keeping up with the Jones’. Many are just forcing themselves to stick it out past February 14th to have something to bring up in conversation.

My good friend, and self proclaimed knowledge God, @ProfessorCorria once told me about how boys are made to be team players from a young age. Join the football team, son. Go play basketball with your neighbors, son. But for girls, it is always a contest to number one. Barbie stands alone. G.I. Joe comes with an army.

That’s what Him-Day is all about. It’s a competition; a “mine loves me more” parade. And no, I’m not talking about the deep-set pride that comes with love, that’s natural and easy to see. I’m talking about the filthy masquerading of false relationships just for the LIKE of a stranger or frenemy.

So tomorrow, before you arrange your gifts in a row and throw a filter on the picture of the gift you received, take a moment and think. If you really do have a Him, this might be the time to appreciate HIM, pay attention to HIM and shut off THEM.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.

+S (@saybz)


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